Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
