my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
