i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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