she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
