The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
