But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
