woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
