I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
