Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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