69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
