you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
false alarm. still invincible.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
