I'm so fucking centered right now
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
