I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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