when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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