so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
