Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
