absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
