coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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