Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We got so high we made milksteak
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
