we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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