am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
