Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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