so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just googled if crying burns calories
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
