I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize