you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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