Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
