can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
