we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
