your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
