She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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