He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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