somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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