Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize