There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We left the knife in your bed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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