Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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