You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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