I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
