Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
