I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
