there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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