is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize