I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
