Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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