hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
