Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize