I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
