Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
