we have pet lesbian snakes
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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