I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
