Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
