Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I want her autograph on my taint
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
