wanna go halves on a baby?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
