I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Let's get the cat blown out
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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