I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
