Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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