just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
