I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
