Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
